Dear Gradual Adjustment,

Today on my way to work, I was rushed, thinking, "I'm going to be so late. I'm getting in at 8:30!"

Today on my way out of work, I was thinking, "I'm going home early! It's only 6:00!"

It wasn't till later that the real meaning of those sentiments hit me.

Hugs & kisses,

B

Dear 6:00 p.m. The Day Before Returning to Work After a Week of Vacation at the Beach With My Oldest Friends,

You couldn't, like, slow yourself down a little, could you?

Hugs & kisses,
B

Dear Ridiculously Attractive Guy Who Sold Me My New Car on Saturday,

When I walked up to the group of salespeople and you were the one who stepped out to show me around the lot, I nearly turned around and left right then and there. Seriously? I thought. Send the cute guy my age out to sweet talk me into buying a car? I've been studying advertising techniques since the fourth grade; I see exactly what you're doing here. Well, I did buy a car, but you had very little to do with it.

That's not to say I wasn't aware of the fact you kept changing the radio in every car I drove to a good station and started telling me all about your creative pursuits when you found out I'm a writer. Got super excited when you found out we practically share a birthday. Kept asking if I live alone.

And then today I got my mail. Is it normal for salesmen to send thank you notes to their customers? I figure yes, probably. It's good business to follow up with customers and keep the lines of communication open. But is it normal to fill the card with compliments about my being the kind of "intelligent, positive, and fun" person that "makes [your] job fun"?

Not sure about my next steps here, so I'm asking my readers. Am I supposed to drop by the dealership sometime or let it all drop?

Hugs & kisses,
B

Dear Birds in My Neighborhood Who Spend All Day and Night in the Trees That Grow Along the Edge of the Street,

Until I acquired a dark blue car, I never realized how much you poop.

Hugs & kisses,
B