Dear 70 Pounds of Kitty Litter I Put in my Trunk This Weekend,

I love you. Yesterday my car wanted to fishtail about a million times, I could tell. The roads 5 inches deep in some places and wheels spinning at stop lights, the drive yesterday was unpleasant. But you, along with my other favorite invention the antilock braking system, made my little car act like a northern native out there. Thanks for weighing down the back and making traction when the other FWDs out there made it clear I needed it.

Hugs & kisses,

B 

Dear Ridiculously Attractive Guy Who Sold Me My New Car on Saturday,

When I walked up to the group of salespeople and you were the one who stepped out to show me around the lot, I nearly turned around and left right then and there. Seriously? I thought. Send the cute guy my age out to sweet talk me into buying a car? I've been studying advertising techniques since the fourth grade; I see exactly what you're doing here. Well, I did buy a car, but you had very little to do with it.

That's not to say I wasn't aware of the fact you kept changing the radio in every car I drove to a good station and started telling me all about your creative pursuits when you found out I'm a writer. Got super excited when you found out we practically share a birthday. Kept asking if I live alone.

And then today I got my mail. Is it normal for salesmen to send thank you notes to their customers? I figure yes, probably. It's good business to follow up with customers and keep the lines of communication open. But is it normal to fill the card with compliments about my being the kind of "intelligent, positive, and fun" person that "makes [your] job fun"?

Not sure about my next steps here, so I'm asking my readers. Am I supposed to drop by the dealership sometime or let it all drop?

Hugs & kisses,
B

Dear Birds in My Neighborhood Who Spend All Day and Night in the Trees That Grow Along the Edge of the Street,

Until I acquired a dark blue car, I never realized how much you poop.

Hugs & kisses,
B

Dear Eleven Years of Driving-a-Car Habits,

I have driven a car three times since January, getting around instead by public bus and personal bike. It's my bike especially that confuses me sometimes in regards to your long-standing habits ingrained into my head. For example, when I'm getting ready to leave a place, why do I still look for my car keys? When I'm seated on the bike saddle, why do I still look for my seatbelt?

Next thing you know, I'll start looking for my helmet and kickstand whenever I drive a car.

Hugs & kisses,
B

Dear A,

You are one of many friends whose name begins with A, but you are the only one who currently lives near me. Thanks for being good company, for being generous with your car, for feeding my obsession with British television, and for reading my blog so much it seems you're starting to think in open letters, as well.

So, I guess I can also say thanks for giving me the slight feeling I'm slowly taking over the world, one needed stamp at a time.

Hugs & kisses,
B